Sunday, August 21, 2005

Re-Connecting

         After high school and nursing school, my life path moved away from many of the people who had been my friends.  With some, separation came after I had my daughter (and "responsibilities").  I lost contact with others when I moved to an adjoining State and rarely got back home.  And, after (mumbling) 18 years, I suddenly wanted to "re-connect" with those folks.  Is this a common thing, wanting contact with buddies from high school and college days?  It must be.

        Some people were very hard to locate.  I looked for Jackie for over a year.  We both had babies when I last saw her.  I never wrote down her married name (who would think I might forget her name!  Not me.)  It was exciting when I found her!  She was my first real "best friend."  I think the most important thing Jackie gave to me was acceptance.  And she came into my life at a time when I needed that the most.  And her humor.  I badly needed her humor in 9th grade.  Before 10th grade, my mom had died.  Then I lost contact with Jackie when I changed schools.

        Another hard-to-find person was a teacher in grade school who I'll call Miss Lynn here.  I'd actually looked for her during high school, but she had moved.  This past year, I finally found her (it was SO easy this search!).  Miss Lynn had "valued me," and I had so needed that!  She was the first person to tell me I was a good writer, too.  Writing was something I would end up burying for a number of years. Only after others complimented me did I remember that Miss Lynn had been the first person to tell me that I was a gifted writer.

        Jenny was a high school friend, then a nursing school friend.  As she said the other day, we always seem to re-find each other.  I always admired Jenny.  She had a wisdom I felt I lacked and could express thoughts so clearly.  She was always honest and direct in a non-hurtful way.  And there was a stability about her, regardless of what was going on around her.  We both had young children but she seemed much more comfortable in the mothering role than I did.  We both went into home care nursing, but Jenny ended up doing much more with her nursing career; I got injured.  About a year ago, Jenny had a pretty bad stroke and now cannot resume nursing.  Our lives, so different, parellell each other's in so many ways.

          There were also guys I had dated who I wanted to contact.  Chip had been one of my first dates.  He was a DJ at the local radio station.  I'd actually re-contacted him maybe 10 years ago, but that day was the day he was bringing his wife and baby daughter home from the hospital !  Who would have thought he'd get married!  A few months ago, we got in touch again.  He'd had 3 children, been divorced...  This past week, he called to say his ex-wife had been killed in a freak accident!  And now, he is a full-time Dad. 

          Dave was my first love.  Now I don't know what I ever saw in him!  He, too, got married and is happy with his life.  I don't know what his wife sees in him either! 

          I have looked for other people I used to know, but I haven't been successful in finding them yet.  A few I found had died (that's sad).  One I never contacted; I knew Rich in nursing school, a jolly fellow.  He had married and although I had thought about him, I didn't want to intrude.  Then, I spotted his obituary online.  I wish now I had contacted him just once.

        I wonder.... are there other people who have thought of me?  Thought of me to the point of looking for me?  I wonder if I did something for someone too, like I feel about the people I've re-contacted?  If so, I hope they find me. 

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