Physical pain is a difficult companion. It always demands one's attention; like monsters under the bed, it grabs your awareness 10-fold.
Most people think activity lessens pain, but there are conditions which don't respond positively to activity or exercise. There are some types of pain that don't respond to the strongest narcotics either. Neuropathic pain (or neuropathy) is one type, but the "pain" is not easily described. Neuropathy can be constant feeling of burning, tingling, "crawling" sensations (like bugs crawling on your skin), grabbing, stabbing, scratching, or plain heightened sensitivity - or any combination of those symptoms. In addition to those, the limb or body part can feel extremely cold or hot, even though skin temperature feels normal.
One doctor in describing neuropathic pain used the analogy of a radio that is just static, with the volume turned all the way up. It is constant, unending, severe, all-encompassing PAIN. Unfortunately, few medicines help.
Some days, I don't know how to live with this monster.
It's ten past the hour
After four, soon to be light
She wonders "why continue"
Another 24 to bravely fight.
To keep pain "manageable"
A rectangle strip on her skin
It absorbs slowly, effortlessly
The only thing to keep her livin'
It overpowers, consumes, stalks-
Nothing controls the fierce beast
Ravages mind and body, alive -
In battle, her strength is least
It's ten past the hour
Another day, now past
She wonders how long
Against pain she will last.
Weeks, months, a year
A calendar marks the days
The struggles, unending
With barely strength to pray.
(C) Copyright 2005. No permission to reproduce in any form without the written consent of the author.
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