Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Hard Days, Hard Nights

         Physical pain is a difficult companion.  It always demands one's attention; like monsters under the bed, it grabs your awareness 10-fold. 

     Most people think activity lessens pain, but there are conditions which don't respond positively to activity or exercise.  There are some types of pain that don't respond to the strongest narcotics either.  Neuropathic pain (or neuropathy) is one type, but the "pain" is not easily described.  Neuropathy can be constant feeling of burning, tingling, "crawling" sensations (like bugs crawling on your skin), grabbing, stabbing, scratching, or plain heightened sensitivity - or any combination of those symptoms.  In addition to those, the limb or body part can feel extremely cold or hot, even though skin temperature feels normal. 

     One doctor in describing neuropathic pain used the analogy of a radio that is just static, with the volume turned all the way up.  It is constant, unending, severe, all-encompassing PAIN.  Unfortunately, few medicines help.

       Some days, I don't know how to live with this monster. 

It's ten past the hour

After four, soon to be light

She wonders "why continue"

Another 24 to bravely fight.

 

To keep pain "manageable"

A rectangle strip on her skin

It absorbs slowly, effortlessly

The only thing to keep her livin'

 

It overpowers, consumes, stalks-

Nothing controls the fierce beast

Ravages mind and body, alive -

In battle, her strength is least

 

It's ten past the hour

Another day, now past

She wonders how long

Against pain she will last.

 

Weeks, months, a year

A calendar marks the days

The struggles, unending

With barely strength to pray.

 

(C) Copyright 2005. No permission to reproduce in any form without the written consent of the author.

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